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Goodbye, Spinster
Hello my loves, Thank you for joining us for the final blog post of Queer Spinster. I’ve spent nearly 5 years documenting my life on this blog, as well as sharing powerful and hilarious essays by guest writers–but most importantly, this was a space for us to connect, to discuss our lives and the lessons we’ve learned through heartbreak, falling in love and finding...
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RUNAWAY GIRL ♡ PART ONE
I KNOW NOW THAT THE DARKNESS I HAD SEEN WAS MY OWN SHADOW. * * * Cut it off, run now. Don’t look back. You must go missing for him to learn how to miss you. I pack my proverbial suitcase and head for the door. I look back and know that what is left will not be the same if I returned. But returning...
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The Difference Between Fear and Trusting Your Gut
Fear is all consuming—it hits you like a ball of fire, it’s instant like foil sparking in a microwave. It’s blinding—chilling—leaves you avoiding all sense of who you are. Your gut allows time for you to analyze the situation. It’s a feeling that your foundation is at threat whereas fear is an avoidance of your foundation. Your gut collaborates with your brain. It allows...
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5 Things I Learned from Therapy
Editor’s Note: I was deeply moved by my dear friend Austin’s video on therapy and how it’s helped him deal with anxiety and depression. Beautiful to see he’s sharing his story, honored to be sharing it with you. “I don’t think I need therapy. I view it, kind of, as a weakness.” The most common, and annoying, thing people say about going to a therapist...
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When Sex Becomes Validation
He finished inside me. Got up, pulled off the condom and took it with him to the bathroom. I lied there naked, alone in the dark. I heard the shower turn on. As he washed himself off I pulled my clothes back on. I tried to find my underwear but it took me a second to locate them in the darkness. I pulled the...
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I Cried in 4th Grade Because I Thought I Was Ugly
On an overnight school field trip in the mountains, I found myself in a nosy predicament. Growing up in a small town in Sonoma County, the fourth grade class at our school would take a field trip through this history of California’s Gold Rush movement. While it may sound fun, it most certainly was not my thing. I love nature. But what I didn’t...
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Still a Hot Mess
I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing tbh. I sit here, cold and lost without much direction or clear passion. I have started a new job, shifted my perspective on past messy relationships (healed from the mess my body endured) and thinking that maybe I got the chutzpah to really make it out here in these streets. But alas, I am still a...
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4 Things to Consider When Blogging About a Painful Relationship
I am no stranger to writing about other people. I started this blog when I was 20–a junior in college, and very problematic. As I continued sharing my story, I lived for the echo of others saying they shared the same experiences. I still live for that. In fact, it’s why I write, honestly. But in my earlier days, I would feel great about sharing...
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Your Purpose Does Not Inform You of Your Destination
This is Lesson #3 of the Year 25 series. When I continued to ask the question, “When is it going to happen for me?” I grew increasingly restless. Fall to the floor praying to God-out for a run-two cups of coffee-and back on the floor again-restless. “When is it going to happen for me?” Where am I going? What is my purpose? Do I...
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The Women’s March and the Power of Intention
Within my bubble of being recognized as male in society, receiving treatment as a male and otherwise always being told I’m entitled to career success and good pay as a male (whether it be conscious commentary or subconscious expectations), I often forget that as a queer feminist who recognizes the incredible women who’ve inspired me, that there are people who literally find the title of...